Letting Go Book
Accumulated pressure of feelings causes many thoughts
Letting go is the cessation of an inner pressure, like the dropping of a weight accompanied by a feeling of relief/lightness/happiness/freedom.
Carrying a reservoir of negative feelings/attitudes/beliefs causes accumulated pressure which makes us miserable and causes illness.
Identify the feeling and surrender it, then the many thoughts assoc with it disappear. Surrendered means to be free of negative feelings so that there are no inner conflicts
Avoid repression of feelings, take responsibility of them- identify and feel them and neutralise them, if we let go of a feeling, the energy behind the feeling is let go and we are decompressed
The source of stress is internal, repressed feelings make us vulnerable to external stress eg the readiness to respond with fear depends on how much fear is already present within us. The more surrendered we are the less stress prone we are
The mind blames events to cause anxiety/stress however it is simply the repressed feelings seeking an outlet. A person with a lot of repressed grief will unconsciously create sad events in life.
The mind transmits its state via vibrational energy over unlimited distance- we affect others unknowingly by our emotional state and thoughts.
Like attracts like- thus anger attracts angry thoughts, love promotes love so that a person who has let go of negative feelings is surrounded by loving thoughts and will attract loving events and people.
Those who have a prosperity consciousness attract abundance, – like attracts like
Letting go technique involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up and identifying it, staying with it, letting it run its course without wanting to change it, focus on letting out the energy behind it. Don’t resist or condemn the feeling. Resisting the feeling will actually keep it going. Let go of the guilt that you have about the negative feeling too.
Let the past go and bury the hatchet
We must also surrender our resistance to love and to being a forgiving person.
If a feeling is ignored then behaviour/actions are affected and we are unaware of the reason for this behaviour, and unaware of certain behaviours/actions
Thoughts are rationalisations of the mind to try to explain the feeling.
All negative feelings are assoc with our basic fear related to survival – feelings are survival programs.
To be surrendered means to have no strong emotions about anything, its ok if it happens, its ok if it doesn’t. we can enjoy something but we don’t need it for our happiness. Feelings come and go and we are not our feelings, we are just witnessing them
The ego is not our friend, it is the small self. It is the part of us that is mean, petty, selfish, competitive, cheap, mistrusting, judgemental, weak, guilty, ashamed, and vain. It has little energy and is depleting, demeaning. It is the small self of us that accounts for our own self-hatred, guilt, seeking for punishment, sickness and disease. If we identify with this, others will see us as this.
Thoughts and feeling from past traumatic events may colour our perception and disable us in areas of life. Every life experience contains a lesson, an opportunity to grow and develop.
Fear is the basis of all inhibitions. Shall we hate or forgive people, do we choose to overlook shortcomings and our own or instead do we resent and mentally attack? Do we withdraw in fear or do we transcend the crisis and master it. We have the opportunity to choose whether we want to hang on or let go of emotional upsets.
Look at the payoffs we get from hanging on to residuals of a painful experience – anger, hatred, self-pity, resentment,
Once we compassionately accept our humanness and that of others we are no longer subject to humiliation. Accept that we are all growing as humans
Relinquishing the negative allows only positive feelings to stay, self-love and self-esteem follow, source of happiness is within ourselves and we do not have to seek it externally.
Source of thoughts -parents, media, teachers, movies, newspapers, religion – all of these influencing us unwittingly without us exercising any conscious thought. We are the composite of the negative garbage prevalent in the world. Stop giving authority to the minds thoughts and start questioning them.
I cant do something is actually I won’t do something, rather than im a victim and I cant.
Blame is a negative program that is not necessary, (blame of ourselves and others) – no righteous indignation, feeling wronged or desire for revenge
Let go of resistance to being forgiving and there will be a willingness to let go of grievance, this will change the context by which we perceive a situation
We are only subject to negative thoughts/belief if we consciously say that it applies to us, we are free to choose not to buy into that negative system. For negativity to apply to our life we must subscribe to it and give it the energy of belief. When we discover our own inner innocence we let go of guilt, when the guilt goes so does the self-punishment, which leads us out of apathy and depression.
The basis of grief/loss is attachment, attachment and dependence occur because we feel incomplete within ourselves therefore we seek objects, people, relationships, concepts to fulfil inner needs. Attachment causes dependency.
Fear of loss of the object of attachment results in attempts to strengthen the bonds which is based on a fantasy – the greater the bond the less likely the loss, in fact this precipitates loss due to possessive attachment/restrictive control
Desire – desire means I do not have – which means we have put a psychic distance between ourselves and what we want, wanting something blocks receiving it and results in fear of not getting it(anxiety). Instead choose the goal, allow it to happen as it is already yours, but do not desire.
Glamour is what we attach to certain things like money or the top job, when in fact once we aquire those things we do not suddenly magically achieve some higher state of happiness or satisfaction.
Belief system: if we say something like ‘my relationships never work out’ then this is what will happen, our mind is so powerful that our unconscious genie which takes orders and doesn’t make decisions will see to it that our relationships never work out. Change your thoughts!
Anger: I am angry because I am full of angriness. Be willing to relinquish anger
View efforts for others as a gift and not as a self-sacrifice, otherwise we are expecting others for a payback – we are pressuring the other person who is likely to resist. Experience the joy of being generous with others.
We get what we want from others when we stop insisting on it, expectation of others is a form of emotional blackmail
The real core condition for happiness, is self-worth, an innate sense of purpose and dignity.
Reframe situations and viewing challenges with patience and compassion and a source of growth.
Nurturing warm, supportive, and empathetic relationships with others is crucial for well-being and a sense of belonging
Instead of chasing external, material, or social gains, true happiness is found by fostering inner contentment and accepting life’s inevitable changes.
Happiness is achieved by cultivating positive states of mind (e.g., love, compassion) and reducing negative ones (e.g., anger, envy). Train the mind to change to a positive state.
The “comparing mind” often leads to unhappiness; comparing with those less fortunate can lead to greater appreciation.
The small (minded) self enjoys an impoverished life, feeling unworthy, being invalidated, judging others, being inflated, always winning, being right, grieving the past, fearing the future, nursing our wounds, craving assurance, seeking love instead of giving it. Acknowledge the small self – (ego). Acknowledge the negativity we have inherited from the human condition.
By changing ourselves we change the world, everything changes around us.
Love yourself. We are all developing and on different paths.
Each feeling we have is derived from our thoughts. Most people try to escape/suppress their feelings, suppressed energy accumulates and causes illness and disordered behaviour.
Surrender negative feelings — this allows space for positive feelings
Improve self awareness – observe feelings rather than thoughts. If the feeling has been surrendered (let go) then usually the thoughts will also disappear
Blaming events or other people for causing a feeling -being the helpless innocent victim of external causes. ‘they made me angry’ ‘he got me upset’ ‘it scared me’ . usually it is actually suppressed and repressed feelings seeking an outlet and then using these events as triggers.
Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. Let the feeling be there and focus on letting out the energy behind it. Drop any judgement of the feeling. Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you give up resisting, it will shift to a lighter feeling. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates. A fear of fear itself is a prime example of this, let go of the fear or guilt you have about the feeling and then get into the feeling. . when letting go – ignore all thoughts, focus on the feeling and not the thoughts. Thoughts are merely rationalisations of the mind to try to explain the presence of feelings.
As we become more familiar with letting go it will be noticed that all negative feelings are associated with our basic fear related to survival and that all feelings are merely survival programs that the mind believes are necessary.
To be surrendered means to have no strong emotion about a thing. Its ok if it happens and its ok if it doesn’t. When we are free there is letting go of attachments – we can enjoy a thing but we don’t need it for our happiness.
Feelings come and go, you should realise you are not your feelings, you are merely witnessing your feelings. You become progressively primarily the witness rather than the experiencer of feelings. You stop identifying with your feelings. You are not the victim of your feelings, they are not the truth about yourself, they are mostly created by the ego. The ego creates programs which the mind mistakenly believes are necessary for survival. The ego wants to keep us enslaved by its programs.
Keep letting go of the feelings you have about the whole process. Thoughts can be fake absurd make-beliefs that obscure the truth.
If underlying emotion Is forgotten or ignored and not experienced then people are unaware of the reason for their actions.
Ask what for ? a man wants a fancy new car – logic doesn’t explain it, to achieve status, recognition, respect. What do I want status for ? respect and approval from others – what do I want respect and approval for? To have the feeling of security, what do I want to have the feeling of security for? – to feel happy, the continual question reveals basically there are feelings of insecurity, unhappiness, lack of fulfillment. Every desire will reveal that the goal is to achieve a certain feeling. There are no other goals than to overcome fear or achieve happiness. Emotions are connected with what we believe will ensure our survival, not with what actually will. Emotions are the cause of basic fear that drives everyone to seek security.
Scale of higher energies down to lower Peace, joy , love, reason, acceptance, willingness, neutrality, courage, pride, anger, desire, fear, grief, apathy, guilt, shame.We do not feel comfortable in the presence of those who are prideful, pride blocks communications and the expression of love.
The humble are immune to humiliation, they have nothing to defend, the truly humble do not experience critical attacks, instead they see it as a statement of the other persons inner problems.
Pride – people take great pride in how much they have been exploited for example when they brag about how much they spent on something. In fact that person is pretty stupid. Gratitude is the antidote of pride.
Let go of the desire to possess. We attach pride to anything that is ‘mine’ . pride infers you are better than someone else.